What WOULD Dolly Do?

Four Whole Weeks of Dolly!

I've been preaching perhaps the most fun series I've ever preached - "What Would Dolly Do?" Each week we feature one of Dolly Parton's songs and I weave in back story with scripture and, of course, the best Dolly one-liners. I love a Sunday that starts with a self-deprecating blonde joke :)

Some say preachers really only preach a handful of sermons throughout their career. They use different scriptures and stories each week, but it's the same 4 or 5 messages. Lately I feel like I've been stuck on one. Like a broken record, each week I get in the pulpit and say something like, "Division is killing us. We have stopped seeing each other as human and we are treating each other like cardboard cutouts and debate targets, instead of children of God." In fact, I'm pretty sure I said those exact words two weeks ago. Over and over again I have been stuck on this refrain.

With this mantra pounding in my chest, Dolly came to me. She's called the great unifier for a reason. Everyone loves Dolly. Old and young, gay and straight, Yankee and southerner - everyone from the buttoned up, Baptist to the outlandish New York drag queen loves Dolly.

As I've been writing this series, I have treated Dolly as an ethnographic study of sorts. I've listened to interviews with her, read bits of her autobiography, poured through her lyrics looking for evidence of what makes her able to transcend the divisiveness of our world. I can't say that I have it all figured out. Dolly holds multitudes. But there are a few things that have stood out to me.

1) She refuses to cast anyone out.

The worship crew at The Summit!

This is such a rare quality in our world right now. We are so quick to write off anyone that we simply disagree with, let alone someone who has done something genuinely harmful. It's likely the fault of social media and the ease at which we can sit behind a computer screen, spewing vile words that we would never say face to face. It is also related to the anger and pain people feel as certain evils have been brought into the light that were shoved into the shadows for generations. The #metoo movement, Black Lives Matter and other campaigns that have given voice to the pain so many of our brothers and sisters have experienced were long over due. Yet they have ignited the rage of those invested in keeping those stories quiet and those who are unable to see clearly the pain and injustice in our world. And those who have been hurt for so long are no longer silent. And so we have turned on each other.

But Dolly refuses to throw anyone out of the family. You won't hear her "cancelling" anyone or calling names. You can hear her heartbreak when she talks about the harm and pain people experience in the world, but you won't here her condemning anyone to hell. I don't think this is because Dolly doesn't feel strongly about the evil some people inflict on others. I think it's because she believes in redemption. I think she believes that there isn't one person that God can't resurrect, that God doesn't love and that doesn't bear God's image somewhere in their core. It doesn't make hateful behavior ok. It doesn't mean we shouldn't have boundaries. But it means that instead of investing our time and energy into eviscerating someone, we can choose to focus on healing the hurt and doing the work of justice. We can let God take care of the rest.

2) She respects the complexity of human emotion, behavior and relationship.

When you hear Dolly talk about her relationship with Porter Wagoner you cannot ignore the way she refuses to simplify Porter into "the bad guy." Even though it is clear that Porter was controlling and borderline abusive and that he sued her and bad mouthed her to the public after she left his show, she would not do the same to him. Dolly always said the relationship was complicated, that Porter was complicated, that her own feelings were complicated. She didn't condone his behavior or stay in an unhealthy relationship with him. She saw what was wrong in the situation and she set good boundaries. But she didn't sink to the level of name calling or slander. I think Dolly saw Porter as a broken, wounded human being, just like we all are. If we can take a note from her and see each other this way, we can bridge many of the divides between us. We might be able to offer each other grace.

3) She grounds herself in her spirituality.

Dolly consistently turns to her faith when she finds herself in the middle of a divisive moment or topic. When Jad Abumrad interviewed her for his podcast, Dolly Parton's America, he asked her about the famous moment when she was presenting an award with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin and the two took the moment as an opportunity to bad mouth President Trump. Standing between them, Dolly looked visibly uncomfortable and diffused the situation with her classic self deprecating humor. To Abumrad, Dolly said, "What I wanted to say is let's pray for him. If we're having all this trouble, let's pray for Mr. President." She didn't say whether she agreed with them or not. She didn't say whether she agreed with Trump or voted for him. She just said, let's pray for what's hurting in our world.

Now, some will say prayer isn't always enough. I think that's true. We need to actually live out the things we pray for. And even though I would argue that her charitable giving and her music makes clear statements about what she believes is right and wrong, I know there are times when I want to hear Dolly say or do more outrightly. But like Dolly would say, she is also a complicated person with complex emotions and relationships. So in a world where tearing each other down seems to be the norm, I'll stand with Dolly who maybe errs on the side of peace and compassion at times. And I'll keep asking myself, what would Dolly do?